Coping With Breakup, Separation, Divorce During Covid-19
A year ago
Covid-19 has inadvertently affected our way of life and changes the way we do things. It has also forced us to slow down and take a look around us, admittingly realising the things of importance and those that are not. With all the #circuitbreaker measures and #stayhome notices, this pandemic is onset on bringing us closer to our partners, regardless if you want it or not.
Life is such, we tend to miss our partner when we are apart at work, on a work trip etc, but when we are in close quarters of a living space 24/7, it is a whole new story altogether. Even though you are both safe at home with your loved ones, being confined in a house together for the last couple of months seeing only each other can be mentally draining, it can feel too much even if you love him 3000.
You used to be so good with each other, complementing each other. All the nightly cuddles, the amount of face time you both enjoyed at the end of the day after work suddenly took a 180 change after lockdown.
The tremendous amount of stress, not just financially with the sudden loss of income and an early retrenchment due to Covid-19 that has forced a downtime for every industry, and the lack of interaction with our extended family and friends adds new pressure to relationships. Everything that you have buried deep, or the smallest issue you used to have with your partner is now magnified.
Studies have shown the direct effect Covid-19 has on relationships, and sadly in this true test, came a bout of breakups, separation and increase in divorce rates from all over the world. So how can you cope with the toll of negative emotions during this time?
Firstly, you need to know that it is okay not to feel okay. You don’t have to measure your loss with those who were affected by Covid-19 as they both deserve the attention it needed at the point in time. Both are life-altering events even though they are not comparable, and yet there is no need to feel guilty if you take the time to grief and to ask for support.
Here are 5 ways you can recover and cope with a breakup, separation, or divorce during Covid-10:
1. Call your friends or a helpline
We’ve taken for granted the ability to meet face-to-face for gatherings.
Very often, we meet up in person only to be playing with our mobile phones. Now is the time to pick up that phone for the right purpose, have a video call or a phone call with your bestie, confide and cry it out. It is okay to take your time to grief over a failed relationship or marriage instead of keeping it all to yourself.
If you find it hard to confide in someone as your social circle is intertwined with an ex, try seeking help from a local helpline or join social groups to expand a new circle of friends.
2. Find a new hobby
There are plenty of new hobbies you can pick up even if you’re at home. Exercising, yoga, picking up a craft or doing handy work. Grow some greens. Pick up your last DIY project, baking, cooking, calligraphy. You name it and they’ll deliver all the materials you need. Find a healthy distraction that can take you away from your thoughts.
3. Upgrade yourself
Just like a OS system or that old PC, everyone needs an upgrade once in a while to keep up with changing times. Isn’t this the best time to do it? Enroll yourself in the wide selection of courses or youtube tutorials that are readily available online now that face contact is limited. Everything is online if you use the right keywords to search.
4. Invest in yourself
Pick up a course or a skill you’ve always wanted to but have no time for. Upgrade and improve on yourself. Do this solely for yourself and not for others. Find your self-worth. Work on your selfcare and practice gratitude. This is the time to love yourself and prioritise yourself; because you can only love others if you love yourself first. The road to being a better person is an everlasting job but a fulfilling job at that.
5. Get outside
Even with the social distancing rules, you can still do exercises, go for a run or trail walk. As long as you practice safe distancing at all times and disinfect yourself when needed. Call a friend, practise safe distancing rules and go out for a breath of fresh air, get with nature. Nature and laughter are the best medicine.
By the time the pandemic is over (we’re hoping soon!), you’ll emerge stronger not just physically and on the front, but also mentally stronger on your inner being. Remember, it is okay to ask for help and no one is going to judge you on that.
We won’t know when Covid-19 will end. But we know that at the end of it all, we will be okay.
Reference: Psychology Today